Child Birth Education
Day One
1. Meet RN Claudette
2. Pay money
3. Fill out a form
4. (Men) State your name, due date, and why you are here. (Women) State your name, your Dr. and best/worst thing about being pregnant.
5. See various parts of anatomy in pictures and other visual aids
6. Sit on the floor and learn to relax and breath.
7.
KegelsWell, the night was quite a bit like the above schedule, but it was much more enjoyable. Much like Kelly, three women had no illness while the other six were very sick. It was almost like there was no middle ground. It is like 6 people picked up the slack for the 4 that didn't get sick. I did see a couple of eyes roll when Kelly said it has been the perfect pregnancy and she is enjoying every moment of it... except heartburn.
We went over the folder that has all the info in it. One particular piece of information that will be discussed in great detail is
pre-term labor. Our RN will make a very big deal of it in every class that we have, because lets face it, it is a serious topic. We also got registration forms for the birthing center that we could fill out at home, make copies of course, and then mail it in. Sadly, as advanced as the
New Sherman Hospital is, they still have forms with the old address on them, so we cannot mail this form in without covering the old and entering the new.
Skipping ahead, the most entertaining part of the evening was the relaxation and breathing exercises. We have 10 couples in class and I think the hospital needs to move the tables towards the speaker's area about 2 feet. Then we will all fit comfortably. The first thing we learned in this exercise was to give massages. The ladies sat in front of their men and were massaged for about 5 -10 minutes. Then the RN declared "turnabout is fair play, it is the guys turn..." for 47 seconds. Oh well, instead of a massage, I took a nice little back scratch. That relaxed me enough, gave me goose bumps too.
It was then time to go to our happy/special place. For about 3 minutes, it was very difficult for me to focus on anything other than Adam
Sandler and Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore (great flick if I do say so myself) rather than my own happy/special place. I learned 2 things. First, I have two special places. One is much like the blank white room in the Matrix (without the architect or
tv screens) or a place we used to call the dirt hills when I was a very young boy. Second, my wife does not have a happy/special place that pops out to her instantly. While we were meditating, we were instructed to use all 5 senses. Apparently doing so helps block out pain and other things that can reduce your focus or hinder your relaxation. Oh another relaxation technique is to flex muscles. Word of advise to anyone who wants to try this... don't over do it, you
just give yourself cramps.
Breathing was very basic tonight. Slow Paced Breathing... in then out, in then out...
Kegels... we all did them... and now I need to remember that at a specific time, I need to tell my wife to go to the basement... something I found I could not do. Hopefully when the appropriate time comes, I will remember to tell her.
I am looking forward to class next week. I cannot remember what we will be discussing, but I really just want to get to the relaxation and breathing exercises again.
Patrick